Arrr.. It Be Talk Like A Pirate Day

Arrr.. Give me yon booty, ye vast scalleywag!

Link: Arrr.. It Be Talk Like A Pirate Day

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Posted by Haggis on September 19th, 2007 @ 1:07 pm.

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If Real Life Were Like An MMO

While musing with a co-worker on integrating terminology and actions from constantly playing massively multiplayer online role playing games (MMORPG) like World of Warcraft, our conversation inspired me to create a comparison of real life versus MMO life, and what it would be like if the two were mutually exclusive.

If Real Life Were Like An MMO:

• While waiting for friends to show up, you spontaneously break into dance with no accompanying music, although it’s just the same dance move over and over.
• Every time you go walking, you are forced off your path every minute because you need to go dig up a flower or hammer at some rocks.
• You are constantly pestered by teenagers asking you for money or if they’ll take you through an area too scary for their age. Oh wait, this is called parenting.
• You can sleep anywhere, and stop right in the middle of the road for a snack or to read a book.
• The local mall will become an area for smaller groups yelling “Looking for more to shop at Old Navy! Please send text!” They may also walk around wearing a sign that says “LFG ON. PST” and you would know exactly what it meant.
• People will laugh and cheer if a random person decides to stand in a public area in their underwear dancing. Usually this is reserved for private establishments by the airport.
• Sometimes when you ask for a strangers’ help, they may just stand by the door and take credit for your work until you kick them out.
• You can fight someone until almost death, and afterwards they will only reply “good match!”
• Every few months the government will make a massive change to every profession, requiring you to learn all your skills over again–but for free!
• Any store you go into will buy anything you have to sell, but the really good and expensive items are sold on eBay. (Auction house, get it?)

Feel free to add your own in the comments section!

Link: If Real Life Were Like An MMO

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Posted by Haggis on September 10th, 2007 @ 1:22 pm.

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The Troubled Life of Amy Winehouse

I’ve professed my love for the Wino before (a few times, actually), and today satire newspaper/website The Onion has an article about her troubled life, and the warning signs that we should have all seen.

And so I present The Onion’s “The Troubled Life of Amy Winehouse“:

Friends and family have been in the news recently urging British pop singer Amy Winehouse to quit using drugs, saying that she has a problem. What have the warning signs been?

• Follow-up single to “Rehab” was “Big Fat Lid of Black Tar Heroin”
• Beehive hairdo occasionally drops baggies, spoons, poppy plantations
• Always in good mood or bad mood
• Keith Richards seen leaving her flat looking defeated
• Constantly screams “God, I love taking drugs!”
• Before a show at the Hammersmith Apollo in London, Winehouse refused to go on until the stage had been cleared of all the four-headed snakes and ghosts of her ancestors
• Her music thus far is pretty cool

My favorite line: “until the stage had been cleared of all the four-headed snakes and ghosts of her ancestors.” Brilliant. Effing brilliant.

Link: The Troubled Life of Amy Winehouse

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Posted by Haggis on September 7th, 2007 @ 2:21 pm.

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Rainbow Brite: The Movie

Conforming to Hollywood’s recent trend of raping our childhood memories, E! Network’s The Soup gives us an exclusive look at the next big blockbuster based off of another classic cartoon from the 1980’s: Rainbow Brite.

I predict already that it will outsell Transformers and Spider-Man 3 COMBINED. The casting decision to play Rainbow Brite herself is genius, and I couldn’t have picked anybody better.

I think i’m gonna have a nightmare about it tonight.

Link: Rainbow Brite: The Movie

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Posted by Haggis on August 7th, 2007 @ 2:06 pm.

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Jailhouse Thriller

Wow, talk about viral video. The highly shared video above is from the Phillipines Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center (CPDRC), also known as the Phillipino prison. The ypractice strict discipline and unique rehabilitation techniques to bring their prisoners back to being a decent member of society.

Unique techniques such as organizing 1500 inmates to re-enact the dance scene of Michael Jackson’s Thriller video. Or another that involves a song from Sister Act. Or choreographed dancing to a Black Eyed Peas song.

I really like the attention to detail that they pay, like the different kinds of zombies and movement, and of course the one inmate that got tapped to play the “girl,” although the ending kind of scares me a little. What did happen to that guy? *shudder*

Link: Jailhouse Thriller

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Posted by Haggis on July 31st, 2007 @ 7:05 pm.

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I Can Has Cheeseburger?

I’m sure you’ve seen them around the internet, on message boards, in the comments of Fark articles, and especially in MySpace comments. They’re called LOLCats, and it’s an internet cliche/fad that involves taking a picture of a pet (usually cats) in a funny or suggestive pose, and putting really weird obscure quotes on the picture. The requirements are that the type must be in huge IMPACT font with white text and a thick black outline around the letters, and that you be as grammatically incorrect as possible.

I’m not quite sure where the phenomenon got started, but I’m addicted. It’s not just the cute pictures of kitties, it’s the bizarre sayings they put on top. The fad got so big that someone even created a site just for the topic: ICanHasCheeseburger.com.

The site allows you to upload your own pictures of cats and other animals, and allows you to insert the text on the website itself. Once the picture is submitted, it will go through an approval process from the moderators (named Tofu and Cheese), and then is placed on a voting queue. The highest voted pictures make it to the front page for the whole world to see.

I’m often embarrassed when someone from work catches me looking at the site. It’s so utterly ridiculous, but I can’t get enough of it. As you can see from the picture at the top, I’ve made my own LOLCat picture.

To see more LOLCats, go to ICanHasCheeseburger.com, and for more of my own LOLCats creations, see them after the jump:

More after the jump…

Link: I Can Has Cheeseburger?

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Posted by Haggis on July 22nd, 2007 @ 11:15 am.

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Robin’s Big Date

This is a short film from 2005 that finally proves the theory everyone always knew to be true: Batman is a cockblocker. And kinda pervy too.

The video is a short film starring Sam Rockwell (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind) as Bat-Man and Justin Long (Live Free or Die Hard, Accepted) as the Boy Wonder. It centers around Robin meeting a female friend who he is interested in dating, but as he is waiting for her to show up at the restaurant Bat-man shows up and starts harassing poor Robin and hitting on his date.

Sam Rockwell absolutely steals the show as the lecherous, creepy, and kind of pathetic take on the Dark Knight character, but Justin Long has his moments as well like drinking milk while everyone else has alcohol, or the awkward tug of his uniform trying to cover up his green man-panties.

Link: Robin’s Big Date

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Posted by Haggis on June 30th, 2007 @ 11:27 am.

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