True California Tales
The following account is absolutely true. Names of the individuals have been removed to protect their identities.
A crew of five weary tour members were driving through California late one night and had decided to pull over at a beach in Orange County to see the ocean and get a little sleep before continuing on the long journey ahead.
After a brief walk to sight-see the area, the group put Napolean Dynamite on the mini DVD Player and settled in for the next few hours of sleep. Everyone’s minds drew from Tina the Llama and Pedro to a sound sleep within half a hour.
Approximately an hour later a loud rap on the drivers window awakens everyone to see two flashlights illuminating the vehicle and its sleepy passengers.
“Roll down the window,” states Officer #1.
Car keys turn to on position, drivers window rolls down. “Yes sir?”
“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to sleep in this area.” Officer #1 peers around the car to view its cramped group of five staring back like frightened deer in the headlights. Officer #2 from the passenger side turns his attention to the rear as well.
“Roll down this window,” commands Officer #2 to the passenger.
Passenger window rolls down. “Yes sir?”
“You want to tell me where the weed is? I can smell it all over the car.”
Nobody says anything.
“Okay, step out of the car.” Officer #2 says, annoyed.
Passenger door opens, and a search is done immediately yeilding a small bag of dope in the jacket pocket. “Is there any more of this? Just go ahead and tell me now, because if I search and find any more I’m going to be pissed.” the Officer demands.
“There may be some roaches in the car, but that’s it.”
“You. Out. Now.” Officer #2 points to one of the rear passengers. Door opens, another search is done, yeilding nothing this time. “Sit down there.”
Each passenger takes their turn crawling out of the vehicle and being searched, including the passenger in the rear of the SUV which the cops found extremely funny being the person in question is 6′2″. During the rest of the searches and ID checks, the questions began to come.
Officer #2 peers down at us sitting on the curb of the beach parking lot, shivering. As the other jackets are searched in the car, they are handed out to each grateful person.
“What are you guys doing sleeping here? This can be a dangerous area if you’re not careful. People get jacked sleeping on the beach all the time.”
“We were just trying to catch a little shut-eye before we keep driving for the night. We’re a hip hop tour on the way to Los Angeles for a couple of shows.”
“Oh yeah?” Officer #2 says inquisitively, “Where have you been so far?”
We explain it in the most basic terms, during which another officer joins in the conversation. They all seem genuinely interested.
“And all five of you have been cramped in that vehicle since December? That can’t be comfortable for anybody stuffed in the back of that camper.” Officer #3 says, chuckling.
“We take turns back there. It’s not as bad as you would think.”
They laugh. The radio crackles and we hear the reports of our innocence come over the air. Officer #2 turns to the individual he found the baggie on.
“Where did you get the weed from?” He asks.
“Somewhere up north. From someone in a club we performed at.”
He chuckles. “When I first saw it I thought it was tobacco. It smells alright, but it looks like garbage.” Officer #2 pauses as he looks at Officer #1. “Your record checks out, so you’re all free to go.”
All three officers look to their right and left at the street behind them.
At that moment the most amazing thing happens: Officer #2 reaches into his pocket and tosses the baggie BACK to the passenger. Not hesitating for a moment, the group member picks it up and shoves it back in his jacket pocket.
“That’s not even worth confiscating. You are supposed to be a rap artist and you are carrying around shit like that? That’s just embarrassing. If you’re gonna run around here, you should at least carry Kush or something better than that nasty stuff,” Officer #2 says as the other two officers laugh.
“Ah I see, so that’s how you guys roll out here?”
The cop hesitates for half a second before replying, “If we did, that’s the shit we would smoke.” The entire group laughs.
“You like hip hop?”
“Sure, as long as it isn’t that gansta rap shit. That’s just horrible.”
The passenger reaches into his other jacket pocket and produces one of his CD’s, casually handing it to Officer #2.
“Thanks, i’ll listen to it right now. Get out of here and get yourself to a motel, there’s plenty down the road.”
A chorus of “yes sir’s” ring out as the group scrambles back into the vehicle.
As the group flees the area as legally fast as possible, the front passenger laughs while looking into his baggie.
“They pinched some before they gave it back to me.”
Welcome to California.
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