by Haggis (Sean Loyless)
June 20th, 2005 @ 10:17 am
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Sore Throats, Lingerie Models, and New Cars
I can’t believe it’s been weeks since I last posted to this blog, despite how many things are happening in my life currently. It’s not that I don’t have anything to talk about, it’s that I just haven’t had the time or motivation to do so.
First, lets go back about three weeks. As my loyal readers know, I’ve been suffering from car problems since the beginning of this year. It started with the ticket I got for an expired inspection sticker, and $800 later the car was in worse shape than before. It only got worse as time passed. It would die as soon as I put it into gear, and at the end I was having to wake up, run outside in my robe, start my car, then get ready for work while my car idled and spent up the expensive gasoline inside. Even after that it still performed sluggish and was getting more unreliable by the day, especially considering I have an hour trip to work everyday.
I had tried to go to a Toyota dealership and get a new 2005 Toyota Corolla, but one look at my credit and they practically laughed me out the door. So depressed and still without reliable transportation, I left the dealership and had practically given up hope on ever getting a car.
On whim, the next Friday I decided to take a chance and just go into a CarMax after a couple of friends recommended the place to me. I came in completely unprepared for them to say “yes” to me, but surprisingly they did. Instead of a 2005 Toyota Corolla, I drove off the lot that night with a 2002 Chevy Prizm. What’s the difference? Well not counting the fact it was a used car, the only difference is the name. The Chevy Prizm actually has the exact same engine as the Corolla. It even has a Toyota manufactured sticker on it, so other than cosmetically, I got the exact car I wanted. It’s white, has 33,000 miles on it, and I got it for $10k. You don’t even want to know what my finance charges are. 
So my car problems were over (except for still trying to get rid of the crappy VW), and my stress level had come down considerably since then. My DJ partner got us a gig at this new bar on 1960 called Lucky Devil’s, and we got an introductory show on a Sunday night just to show them what we could do. They were obviously impressed, because they turned around and booked us for every Thursday night starting the next week.
Last Thursday was our first night there with a real crowd, and the bar really packed ‘em in with all kinds of specials. It was Steak Night, Happy Hour, and my favorite part, Lingerie Night. They have these girls that come in and walk around in their underwear selling raffle tickets. Why? I have no idea, but I’m not about to question hot girls in their underwear; you just accept it.
One girl threw me for a loop, however. One of the waitresses came up and told me that one of the models, the brunette, was married to the lead singer of Papa Roach. Me, being the star whore that I am, immediately got interested and wanted to ask her questions. She eventually came up and talked to us, and she confirmed that she was married to him. I asked her how long they’ve been married, where he was at, how long ago did she see him, etc. She was quick to answer and seemed confident, but I was a little leery about her truthfulness.
First off, why was she in Houston? She told me she had family here she stayed with when he was on tour. Second, why is she in some small bar on the ass end of Houston wearing her underwear and selling raffle tickets? Papa Roach is a platinum selling artist and I severely doubt they are shy of any money. Then the clincher hit. I saw her leave in the ugliest, most beat up hooptie I have ever seen in my life. It made my crappy VW look like a brand new Lexus. You think the lead singer of a famous band would let his wife drive in a car like that? Not bloodly likely.
So with my curiosity peaked, I hit the web the next day and tried to find a picture of her. The model said her name was Brooke, but when I went looking for the wife of Kobe Shaddiq, I found a girl named Kelly. Not only did the name not match, but neither did the body, hair, or the fact that the REAL wife of Kobe has a HUGE tribal tatoo on her back. This girl did not.
So why would someone go around telling people she is married to a famous rock star, when she is clearly not? Attention whore? Mentally retarded? Psychopath? I think all of the above, and I cannot wait until Thursday to call her out on it. I’m not going to be mean, but when she asks us to play Papa Roach, i’m gonna tell her that not only don’t we have any (we didn’t Thursday either) but that the band sucks and we’ll never play them. Not a far stretch from the truth, either. So ridiculous.
And finally, the main reason I haven’t posted in the past week. Starting last Sunday, my throat started to feel itchy and I was running a fever at night. I used my brand-new insurance card and went to the Doctor on Monday to see what was wrong with me, but they needed to run tests and just prescribed me some Penicillin to kill the infection. I’ve been taking the pills for a week now and I woke up yesterday morning feeling like someone had run sandpaper over the back of my throat. I didn’t even get off the couch at all yesterday, and even had to sit through a viewing of Sorority Boys because I didn’t want to get up to find the remote. I don’t think i’ll ever see Lex Luthor the same way again.
I missed three days of work last week because of this, and now I have to leave work early today to go back to the doctor to find out what’s wrong with me, and hopefully get some more medication to take care of this. I have a feeling it’s a sinus infection or something, although I’m not really certain. I do know one thing for a fact: It SUCKS.
